To some, love is the most important thing. To others, love cannot exist without other aspects, such as passion, sympathy, compassion and hope. So, what keeps couples together? It all depends on the people concerned because they are the ones who put value to the elements involved in their relationship. It is up to them to distinguish what sort of characteristics to cultivate and what to inhibit. But many draw the line at cheating. Once trust is broken, it is difficult to get back; and those who have been deceived find it hard to believe again in the individuals whom they love or have loved. Without trust, many give up on their relationships because they cannot cope with the constant mental stress of trying to have faith in their loved ones while battling the nagging feeling of issues regarding untrustworthiness.
Trust is truly vital in relationships. But even if you do trust your partner, it is still more prudent to be a bit more observant so that you can spot problems right away. If you nip the problem in the bud, you’ll be able to save your relationship or work on your issues right away in order to resolve dilemmas. In case you are wondering how to recognize cheating, here are a few characteristics to look for.
1. Keeping Secrets
Being a bit secretive can add some spice to your relationship; but not when your partner’s secret concerns another man or woman. There are many ways to be secretive, in a good way. Maybe your husband keeps quiet about a surprise birthday party that he’s been planning for you. But there are warning signs that a husband’s secret may be all about another individual. If you can no longer access his emails or other social networking site accounts, then maybe he is hiding something. When he begins to put access codes on his phone or laptop, then you need to start investigating. Do not let it go if you are suddenly unable to open your joint bank accounts. He cannot and should not limit your access to what’s rightfully yours.
2. Over the Top Generosity
When a partner has done something wrong, he will probably try to cover up his mistakes by being overly generous. For instance, your husband, who is normally pretty thrifty, suddenly splurges on flowers, chocolates, accessories or gadgets for you. If his generosity is coupled with other suspicious actions, then it might be time for you to investigate.
3. Plays the Blame Game
Is your husband being doubtful or distrustful? Is he being too insecure? Is he accusing you of having someone else? Is he suddenly blaming you for everything that goes wrong? In case your partner becomes critical all of a sudden, then there might be a more serious issue at hand. When someone is guilty of something, he becomes very conscious of his actions, and it’s also common for him to compare his actions to that of his partner. When he sees that his wife is exercising or dressing well, he might blame her for his insecurities or accuse her of having an affair. He becomes very critical of her actions because he wants to find something wrong with her so that he will feel less guilty.
- Ricardo Bouyett. “90/365- Your Body’s Heat, Not My Heart’s Grief”. November 28, 2012. Online Image. Flickr. January 9, 2013.
- License: Creative Commons image source
Claire Porter has been doing freelance work since 2008. She writes about a variety of topics, including psychology and social issues. She also provides material for Doctor Puff, a renowned psychologist and author in Orange County.